The Golden Pineapple [Crackfic]

*WARNING*: Mika's potty-mouth and bras

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"MIKA!" Rosie exclaimed, jumping from the doorway and landing on top of said person, who was laying on the bed.
"What the fuck! Get off!" Mika yelled, her eyes fully open now.
Rosie got up in her face, her nose only about a half an inch away. "But Mikaaaaaaa! We have to find that golden pineapple! Remember?" she whined, thumping her tail.
"What the hell, Rosie. Why did you wake me up for a pineapple?" Mika groaned, pulling the sheets over her head.
"It's not ANY ol' pineapple!" Rosie laughed. "It's golden! And magic!" she replied, making jazz hands.
"... What have you been smoking?" Mika growled, glaring at Rosie.
"You're funny! Now come on!" she giggled, jumping off the bed and running down the stairs.
Mika sighed, but got out of bed and walked to the stairs. All of a sudden, her foot slipped from beneath her and she came tumbling down the steps, landing on her face in front of Rosie, who had seemed she was going to die from how much she was laughing.
"Shut the fuck up or I'll get France on your ass," Mika growled, pushing herself up.
With that, Rosie jumped up, grabbed Mika's arm, and started pulling her towards the door.
"Wait!" Mika protested. "I'm fucking starving!" she yelled, trying to pull away.
Rosie must have taken some kind of steroids or something, because she was really strong with her grip. "Silly! There's no time to eat! Come on now!" she smiled like a tard, pushing Mika out the door.
Mika yelped as Rosie pushed her into the car. "But I'm a fatass. I have to eat," Mika said, crossing her arms. She refused to start the car.
Rosie let a childish smile spread her face. "Drive now or I'll kill you!"
"Well shit," Mika said, starting the car. She started driving, and Rosie began laughing again. "What's so damn funny?"
"You're so retarded! I'd never kill you!" Rosie chuckled. "Okay! So take a left!"
~~~~~
When they arrived they found themselves in the parking lot of... "Wal-Mart?! REALLY?!" Mika said, facepalming.
"Yeah!" Rosie replied with a grin, jumping out the window.
Mika sighed, getting out and following Rosie, who had already started rushing up to the store's doors.
When they walked into the Wal-Mart, Rosie inhaled deeply. "AHH, the smell of Wal-Mart~" Mika slapped the back of Rosie's head with a wallet. "OW!" she yelped. ".... It smells like plastic..."
"Godpleasekillmenow," Mika whispered under her breath.
"Okay! So first, we have to go around and ask people questions!" Rosie said, putting on random glasses. I guess to make her look studious.
Mika was already regretting getting up today. "What KIND of questions?"
"You'll see!" Rosie said grabbing her hand and dragging her up to a random by-stander.
~~~~~
"Alright! Last question for you, sir! When you pour your beer, is the head too big, too small, etc?" Rosie said, nearly breathing down the stranger's neck.
"I SAY! WHAT KIND OF QUESTIONS ARE THESE?!" the man said. And with that, he took out a glove, and slapped both Rosie and Mika, then stormed off.
Mika rubbed her cheek and growled at Rosie, "Well, Rosie, your idea got us slapped, kicked, and called the cops on."
"That means we are progressing!" Rosie said, jumping on Mika's back. "Now for the second step! AWAY! TO THE BRA SECTION."
~~~~~
"GORDEN PINEAPPURR! ARE YOU HERE?!" Rosie called out. She was shoving her nose into all types of bras.
Mika was sitting at a bench, waiting for Rosie to give up.
"Hmmmm... ONE MORE THING," she said, holding up a plus-size bra.
"Uhh.. what the fuck," Mika said, eyes widening.
"THE NEXT STEP," Rosie said with a derp-face, shoving the bra onto Mika.
"HELL NO," Mika yelled, pushing Rosie to the ground.
"A-alright, we can skip that step," she said, getting up and rubbing her head. "NOW FOR THE LAST STEP!" she declared with her finger in the air. Rosie started marching off to the fruit-section, with Mika reluctantly following behind.
~~~~~
"THE GOLDEN PINEAPPLE! I FOUND IT!" Rosie exclaimed, picking up a strange fruit.
"That's a mango..." Mika said, slapping her hand over Rosie's mouth.
Rosie licked her hand, causing Mika to spazz and slap her. "OW. Well, okay then," she frowned, shuffling over a bit. Just then a little girl was skipping over to her mother, a big bright pineapple in her hands.
"THAT'S IT!" Rosie yelped, slapping Mika all over.
"WHAT THE HELL. GET OFF ME!" she yelled, pushing Rosie away.
"MY GOLDEN PINEAPPLE!" she hissed, snatching the pineapple from the girl.
"STRANGER DANGER!" the girl screeched, taking out a can and pepper spraying Rosie.
Rosie screamed and spazzed around, and Mika facepalmed. All of a sudden, guards rushed over, starting to drag Rosie and Mika out. When they reached the exit, the guards tossed them out, leaving them in the rain.
While still on her face, Mika slammed a hand down on Rosie's stomach. "ASSHOLE!" she yelled out at her.
Rosie cringed, but quickly jumped back up. "Wait! MY PINEAPPLE'S STILL IN THERE!"